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来源:搜医对话    发布时间:2019年08月23日 00:56:27    编辑:admin         

The idea of sex and love addiction conjures up all sorts of images, however, this addiction is as painful as any other. You may be asking, "What is sex addiction or what is love addiction? Can we be addicted to love? How would we know if we are addicted to sex or addicted to love?" To begin to answer these questions and to start to understand sex and love addiction, it is important to understand why the idea of addiction becomes associated with sex and with love.AddictionAddiction is a process which occurs over time in a persons life. Addiction is usually associated with repetitive behaviors, obsessive thinking about a person or behavior or, in the case of substance addiction, a particular drug. Initially the behavior and the thoughts feel good and are even euphoric causing the person to want to repeat the behavior and thinking pattern. The key ingredient for addiction to occur is the feeling of euphoria the person gets from the behavior. Feeling good is very reinforcing, and humans will seek out what feels good, even if the good feeling is brief and short lived. With addiction comes obsessive thoughts, compulsive behaviors, lost time and productivity, lost relationships and marriages, lost physical and mental health. The addiction becomes the underlying drive for the person’s life.Sex AddictionSex addiction can range from solitary compulsive masturbation to predatory sex crimes. This article will focus on what Patrick Carnes in his bookOut of the Shadowsrefers to as the Level One sex addict. The behaviors associated with this level of sexual behavior are usually within the range of what society views as victimless. Sexual behaviors which occur between what appears to be consenting adults, even if the behavior is illegal, is tolerated and even encouraged, and is often considered victimless. An example would be prostitution. Prostitution is a crime, and participating in sex with a prostitute is a crime in most parts of our society. However, it is tolerated by our society and often viewed as behavior between adults to which both consent--it becomes viewed as anecessary evil.In this view no one is victimized by the other.Besides prostitution, other behaviors which are in level one include: pornography, strip shows, peep shows, compulsive masturbation, massage parlors, repetitive one-night stands, multiple sex partners, cruising in bars and restrooms, and so forth. More recently we have cybersex, phone sex, or e-sex. The sex addict may participate in one or many of these behaviors, but the behavior is repetitive, compulsive, and driven. What may have begun as a curiosity regarding pornography, soon evolves into obsession. What was meant to be one trip to a prostitute becomes repetitive, expensive, and time consuming--not to mention demoralizing, shame producing, physically dangerous, and emotionally draining. Often the thrill of risky, clandestine behavior is enough to continue the pursuit. The obsessive thinking takes up ever growing amounts of time, even as the compulsive addictive behavior may be becoming less and less rewarding.Most often these behaviors are done in secret. The addict may reveal the tip of the iceberg to a friend, but rarely the extent of the obsession. If the addict is married or in a relationship, the secret must be covered up with lies and deception. Money spent must be allowed for in the budget. Time lost must be accounted for. Even while the behavior continues to reinforce the obsession, the act becomes hollow and shameful for the sex addict. The problems associated with the addiction begin to outweigh the pleasure derived from the behavior.Love AddictionIt may seem incongruous to placeloveandaddictionwithin the same context, but if you understand how the addictive process occurs in people’s lives, then it becomes easy to associate the two ideas. Addiction occurs when a person gets hooked on the feeling associated with a behavior. In this case love. Our culture tends to place a high premium on the love between intimates. We view love or romantic love as the basis of a relationship. If there isn’t romantic love, if we don’t feel "in love" with the person we are less likely to think about a long term commitment or marriage. The "in love" feeling is euphoric, and it is quite reinforcing. The longing associated with that early bloom of romantic love is well known and is the subject of love songs, romantic movies, and love stories. Romantic comedies act out the interplay between two people as they move from strangers to being in love. The film expresses the longing, the delight, the humor, and sometimes the pain of romantic love.Love becomes addictive when that feeling of euphoria which occurs during romantic love becomes the goal. The early stage of a relationship when the other is still unknown, when we can look endlessly into their eyes, when the sound of their voice causes our heart to race, is the bonding stage. This early stage (the beginning, the first meeting, the first kiss) is followed quickly by the first weeks and months of the relationship, and the physical arousal level is high. Researches who have studied human behavior are quite aware of the hormones and endorphins which are secreted in greater amounts during this stage, and which further act to reinforce the bonding. This chemical process can be addictive. That euphoric feeling becomes what is sought after and what triggers the addictive cycle.Love addicts can be recognized by their movement from relationship to relationship, multiple marriages, affairs while in a committed relationship, and their general focus on the next man or woman who might come into their lives. The flight in and out of relationships soon looses its thrill, and the love addict is left with pain and loss. Some love addicts may be hooked on fantasy lovers. Fantasy lovers are people the addict loves and longs for from a distance. These people may not actually go in and out of relationships, but instead spend large amounts of time in chat rooms, ing romance novels, or going to movie after movie. This frantic behavior is an attempt to feel good. To replicate the feeling of being in love. Unfortunately, what usually occurs is deadening depression. Chat rooms, romance novels, and movies are not negative in themselves, they are meant to be entertaining, stimulating, and fun. For the love addict, these pursuits become the tools of their addictive process. While some love addicts go from person to person, others addict to one person. This love addict creates a fantasy relationship and tries repeatedly to fit the person into the fantasy. Even in the face of evidence to the contrary, the love addict will continue the fantasy of being in love with the perfect mate.Sex and Love AddictionSex and love go hand in hand. When we are in love it often follows that we have sex with that person. We even call itmaking love.However, for the sex and love addict, love and sex within the same relationship becomes stale and boring after awhile. The first blush is off, the bloom has paled. In short, the hormones aren’t pumping quite so fast. That euphoric feeling has died down, and the real work of the relationship begins. At this point the sex addict will increase their addictive behavior and the love addict may begin to look elsewhere. The addictive cycle begins (if it ever ended) anew. The cherished hope within the sex and love addict that the new relationship will be enough to break the cycle is met with failure, loss, and shame.RecoveryRecovery from sex and love addiction can occur. The process of recovery is much like recovery from substance addictions. First, the addict begins the process of healing by identifying the painful damaging behavior. By acknowledging their behavior is addictive and destructive, their lives become open to growth and change. The addict learns to recognize how their thinking, their feelings, and their behaviors lead them into the addictive cycle. Frequently, sex and love addicts are depressed and anxious, and begin to feel worse before they feel better making the recovery process painful.There is help. The sex and love addict is not alone. Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous, a 12-Step program modeled after Alcoholics Anonymous, offers the addict a place to learn about themselves and the addictive process. The tools of recovery are available if the person is willing to take the step into a new life. Another important tool for recovery is counseling. Counseling can help the person understand how their unfinished business from the past is affecting them today. They can begin to unravel how the addictive cycle works in their lives. 成瘾可能发生在人一生中任何阶段,常常与重复行为、强迫性观念,或者在物质成瘾中,一种特殊的药物联系在一起的。最初行为和想法尚且感觉良好,使人感到欣快地想要重复这些行为和思维方式。成瘾的关键组成部分是人们从特定行为中获得的欣快感受。感觉良好就具有强化作用,人们会寻找出是什么让他感觉良好,即使这种感觉短暂一时。伴随着成瘾,他们会出现强迫观念以及强迫行为,时间和工效观念丧失,人际关系和婚姻丧失,身体和心理健康丧失等后果。上瘾渐渐会变成一个人生活的内在驱力。性成瘾性成瘾从独自强迫性的自慰,到掠夺式的性犯罪,都可能存在着。本文将着重介绍Patrick Carnes在其书《走出阴影》中所描述的第一水平的性成瘾。伴随这种水平的性行为的一些行为被社会视为其中无人受害,性行为发生在自愿的成人之间,即使是非法的,仍然是可以容许甚至是可以鼓励的,毕竟没有其中没有人受害。卖淫就是这样,卖淫在大部分地方都是犯罪行为。但是它能够被我们的社会所容许,常常被当作是成人的自愿行为,这是不可避免的事情,从这种角度看,没有人会收到别人的问责。除了卖淫外,其他第一水平的行为还有:色情作品,脱衣舞,偷窥秀,强迫性的自慰,院,一夜情,多名性伴侣,酒吧或者澡堂揽客。现在更是有网络性爱,电话性爱,乃至虚拟性爱。性成瘾可能参与一种或者多种这样的性行为,然而不管如何这种行为都是重复性地,强迫性的,冲动性的,受到内在驱使的。可能发生的是刚刚最初对色情作品好奇,发展成为强迫性冲动。一次嫖娼的经历可能会再三重复,耗费大量金钱和时间,更不用说意志消沉、羞耻感的产生,身体上的危险,情感上的衰竭。常常秘密而冒险的行为所带来的兴奋足以维持对这种行为的追求。渐渐地,即使强迫性成瘾行为所带来的欣快感变得越来越淡,强迫性观念占据的时间却越来越多。大多数情况下这样的行为是秘密进行的。成瘾者可能只向朋友暴露其状况的冰山一角,但不会透露自己的强迫程度。如果成瘾者结婚或者恋爱了,秘密还会被谎言和欺骗所掩盖。其中金钱花费要列入预算,时间花费也要进行解释。即使当这种行为继续为了增强强迫性而进行的,这种举动对于性成瘾者仍然被视为虚伪和羞耻的。这个伴随成瘾的问题带来的烦恼或许从程度上超过了行为本身带来的愉悦。爱情成瘾将爱情和成瘾放在一起或许有些不和谐,但如果你理解了成瘾过程怎么在人们的生活中发生之后,将二者联系起来就容易多了。当一个人着迷与行为伴随的感受,成瘾便发生了,爱情也是如此。我们的文化倾向于鼓励恋人间的爱情。我们把爱或者浪漫的爱视为关系的基础。如果没有浪漫的爱,我们就不会感觉到在恋爱,亦不会去想要维持长期的关系,更不会考虑婚姻。恋爱的感觉就是一种欣快感,对人的强化作用非常大。渴望绽放烂漫的爱情之花是爱情歌曲、浪漫电影、爱情故事的永恒主题。浪漫喜剧更是上演着一对恋人从陌生到相爱的经历。电影表达着浪漫爱情的渴望,带来的快乐,幽默以及伤痛。当以追求浪漫爱情带来的欣快感为目的时,爱情就成瘾了。爱情关系最初的契合阶段中,彼此仍旧不了解对方,我们彼此深深地看着对方的眼睛,对方的声音都可以使我们心跳加速。这个阶段(从开始,到初次约会,到初吻)会持续一周或者一月,此时生理唤醒水平还是比较高的。研究人类行为的学者发现在这个阶段,荷尔蒙和内啡肽(一种体内镇痛物质)的含量在秘密地增加,这就会强化爱情行为。这个化学过程可能导致成瘾。这种欣快感就是之后成瘾者追求的目标,也是引发成瘾周期的元凶。爱情成瘾者可能有以下形式的举动:关系的深入发展,多重婚姻,忠诚关系中的婚外逸事,并且他们一般着聚焦于下一个出现在他们生活中的异性。在这种关系中的反复无常使兴奋性降低,爱情成瘾者只剩下伤痛和损失。一些爱情成瘾者还可能着迷于幻想爱人。幻想爱人是成瘾者只渴望在异地喜爱的人。这些人可能不会在感情关系中反复无常,但是会花费大量的时间在聊天室中,读浪漫小说,或者去狂看爱情电影。这种疯狂的行为是在试图追求和重复恋爱美妙的感受。有的爱情成瘾者会不断调换不同的异性,而有些的对象却只有一个异性。康复性与爱情成瘾的康复是有可能的,就像物质成瘾的康复一样。首先,成瘾者应该认识到这种给自己带来伤痛损害得行为。通过认识到他们的行为是成瘾并具有破坏性的,他们的生命将开放、成长和改善。成瘾者通过学习了解他们的想法、感受和行为是如何诱导他们进入了成瘾周期的。性与爱情成瘾者常常会抑郁和焦虑,他们在感觉改善之前会感觉糟糕,这会使得康复的进程变得困难。还是有解决方法的。性与爱情成瘾者并不孤独。性与爱情成瘾者互助协会,仿照戒酒互助协会,提供给成瘾者一个场所了解自己以及成瘾过程。如果他们愿意踏入新的生活,可以参与到其中。另外一个重要的康复就是咨询。咨询可能帮助了解他们过去心理和人格% /200810/54469。

Why did humans evolve to walk upright?Why did humans evolve to walk upright? Perhaps because it's just plain easier. Make that "energetically less costly," in science-speak.Bipedalism - walking on two feet - is one of the defining characteristics of being human, and scientists have debated for years how it came about. In the latest attempt to find an explanation, researchers trained five chimpanzees to walk on a tmill while wearing masks that allowed measurement of their oxygen consumption.The chimps were measured both while walking upright and while moving on their legs and knuckles. That measurement of the energy needed to move around was compared with similar tests on humans and the results are published in this week's online edition of Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.It turns out that humans walking on two legs use only one-quarter of the energy that chimpanzees use while knuckle-walking on four limbs. And the chimps, on average, use as much energy using two legs as they did when they used all four limbs.However, there was variability among chimpanzees in how much energy they used, and this difference corresponded to their different gaits and anatomy.One of the chimps used less energy on two legs, one used about the same and the others used more, said David Raichlen, assistant professor of anthropology at the University of Arizona."What we were surprised at was the variation," he said in a telephone interview. "That was pretty exciting, because when you talk about how evolution works, variation is the bottom line, without variation there is no evolution."Walking on two legs freed our arms, opening the door to manipulating the world, Raichlen said. "We think about the evolution of bipedalism as one of first events that led hominids down the path to being human."The research was supported by the National Science Foundation and the L. S. B. Leakey Foundation. 人类为何进化到了直立行走的姿态?可能这是因为直立行走要容易得多。用科学术语来说,直立行走能“节省能量”。用两条腿走路是人类的基本特征之一,多年来,科学家们在这一特征的形成问题上一直争论不休。在这项最新研究中,研究人员让五只大猩猩戴着可测算氧气消耗量的面罩在跑步机上行走。研究人员对大猩猩在直立行走和四肢着地行走时消耗的氧气量分别进行了测量,并将结果与人类的进行了对比。这些结果在本周《国家科学院院刊》的网络版上公布。测算结果表明,人类用两条腿行走时消耗的能量仅为大猩猩四肢着地行走时所消耗能量的四分之一。平均来看,大猩猩两条腿行走时消耗的能量与四肢着地行走时的差不多。但行走时消耗能量的多寡在这些大猩猩中也存在差异。这与它们不同的步法和解剖学特征有关。亚利桑那大学的人类学副教授大卫·里奇伦说:“其中一只大猩猩用两条腿行走时消耗的能量较少,还有一只两种行走方式消耗的能量相同。其余的两条腿行走时消耗的能量较多。”他在接受一个电话采访时说:“让我们感到惊讶的是变异。这十分令人兴奋,因为变异在进化过程中起着关键性作用。没有变异,就不会有进化。”里奇伦说,双腿走路解放了我们的双臂,为我们主宰世界打开了大门。“双腿直立行走的进化是原始人向人类进化的最初阶段中的一步。”该研究是由美国国家科学基金会和L. S. B. 李基基金会提供持的。 /200808/46206。

Sales of laptop computers passed desktops in the U.S. for the first time ever this fall, according to market-research firm IDC.据市场研究公司国际数据公司(IDC)的数据,今年秋季美国笔记本电脑销量有史以来首次超过台式电脑销量。That's bad news for backs, necks and shoulders.但对人的颈、肩、背来说,这是个坏消息。'Laptops are inherently unergonomic -- unless you're 2 feet tall,' says physician Norman J. Marcus, a muscle-pain specialist in New York City.纽约市肌肉疼痛科医生诺尔曼·马库斯(Norman J. Marcus)说,笔记本电脑本质上是不符合人体工程学的,除非你身高只有两英尺。When you work at a computer, the keyboard should be at elbow height, so your upper and lower arms form an angle of 90 degrees or more and your forearms are supported by armrests. The monitor should be roughly at eye level so you can lean back in a chair with back support.当你在电脑前工作时,键盘应该和肘部齐高,这样你的大臂与小臂成90度角或更大的角度,小臂可以放在椅子扶手上。显示器应该大概和眼睛处于同一水平线,这样你就能往后靠在椅背上。But most users simply set their laptops on a desk or table. The keyboard is too high, which makes your arms reach up, your shoulders hunch and your wrists bend down. The monitor is too low, which pulls your head and neck forward and down and puts a strain on your back.但是,大部分使用者都只是把笔记本电脑放在书桌或是普通桌子上。键盘放得太高,你必须把胳膊伸得老高,耸起肩膀弯着手腕。显示器太低,你的脑袋和脖子都必须往前下方伸,使你的背部紧张。That's OK if you use your laptop occasionally, for short periods. But if you use one for hours at a stretch -- as do millions of college students, business travelers, telecommuters, -gamers and growing numbers of office workers -- you're setting yourself up for muscle problems that can make your entire upper body hurt.如果你只是偶尔、短时间地用一下笔记本电脑,这样做不会有太大问题。但是,如果你一坐就是几个钟头(就像好几百万大学生、商务旅客、网络上班族、游戏玩家,以及越来越多的办公室白领一样),那你就是在和自己的肌肉过不去,这可能会让你的整个上身疼痛。Ergonomics experts have warned about laptop problems for years -- mostly in vain. People continue to abandon bulky desktops in favor of the ever-sleeker, lighter portables. And WiFi connections let us use laptops anywhere -- in bed, on the floor -- in all kinds of contorted positions.人体工学专家多年来一直在提醒笔记本电脑的问题,但是往往是徒劳无功。人们继续丢掉笨重的台式电脑,转向更加轻薄的笔记本电脑。而且无线上网技术还让我们可以在任何地方使用笔记本电脑──床上、地板上──姿势也可以千奇百怪。'People think, 'How can a mouse or a keyboard hurt you?'' says Thomas Caffrey, founder of Myofactors LLC, which does ergonomic consultations for factories and offices (including The Wall Street Journal). 'But poor technique can significantly overload the anatomy over time.'Myofactors LLC的创始人托马斯·凯弗雷(Thomas Caffrey)说,人们会想,一个鼠标或键盘怎么会使你受到伤害呢?但是随着时间的推移,糟糕的姿势可能会对人体带来明显的重负。该公司为工厂和办公室(包括《华尔街日报》)提供人体工学咨询务。 A wrong position can cause pain and stiffness in the neck, shoulders, back and arms, as well as headaches, pains in the temporomandibular joint (TMJ) and carpal tunnel syndrome, in which pressure on wrist nerves causes tingling and numbness in the hands.错误的姿势不但可以造成颈、肩、背和手臂的疼痛和僵硬,而且还会导致头痛、颞下颌关节疼痛和腕管综合症。腕管综合症患者的腕部神经受到压迫,导致手上产生刺痛或是麻木的感觉。There are simple ways to make a laptop more ergonomic. The key is to separate the keyboard and the monitor so each can be placed at the proper height:有几种简单的方法可以让使用笔记本电脑更符合人体工学。关键是要将键盘和显示器分开,这样两者可以分别放在合适的高度。-- Laptop stands. Getting the monitor higher is simple -- setting it on a pile of books will do. Or you can buy stands ( and up) that hold your laptop vertically; some let you adjust the height and angle. Either way, you'll need a separate keyboard so your hands aren't at an impossible angle.-笔记本电脑架。把显示器放高很容易──把它放在一摞书上就可以了。你也可以买个架(最低20美元),把你的笔记本电脑垂直放置,有些架还可以调整高度和角度。无论哪种方法,你都需要一个单独的键盘,这样你的手才不必弯成一个高难度的角度。-- External keyboards. These sell for as little as ; wireless versions for and up. Logitech makes a wireless-keyboard-and-laptop-stand set for . A keyboard that slopes away from you provides the best angle for your hands and wrists.-外接键盘。最低只要20美元,无线键盘至少60美元。Logitech生产的一种无线键盘加笔记本架的套装价格是80美元。如果键盘能朝远离你的方向倾斜一个角度,你的手、腕就可以处于最佳角度。-- Keyboard tray. Unless you're really tall, setting the keyboard at elbow level means a few inches below desk height. Attachable keyboard drawers range from to 0. If your desk isn't wide or deep enough, try setting the keyboard on your lap with a small cushion under the front edge. (Don't use a laptop on your unprotected lap for long; they can get hot .)-键盘托架。除非你是个小巨人,否则把键盘放在肘部的高度也就是只比书桌低几英寸。可附键盘托架价格从30美元到200美元不等。如果你的书桌不够长也不够宽,那么试着把键盘放在你的腿上,在前缘下面放一个小垫子。(不要把笔记本电脑单放在腿上太长时间,电脑会很烫的。)-- External mouse. If you find the built-in mouse awkward, get an external mouse or keypad ( to ) and set it close to the keyboard. 'The farther your hand has to go from your body, the more burden there is on the upper extremities,' says Mr. Caffrey.-外接鼠标。如果你觉得内置的鼠标不舒,那么就配一个外接鼠标或是袖珍键盘(14-75美元),把它放在键盘旁边。凯弗雷说,你的手伸的越远,承受的负担越重。-- Docking stations. These allow you to attach a separate monitor, keyboard and mouse and use your laptop as a central processing unit (CPU). Prices start around . This is a good solution for workers who need a laptop for traveling as well as long periods of office work.-扩展坞。它让你可以外接显示器、键盘和鼠标,把你的笔记本电脑当成一个中央处理器。起价约为70美元。对于那些需要在办公室中长时间使用笔记本电脑,同时也需要在旅途中使用的人来说,这是个很好的解决方案。-- Portable solutions. Lapdesks and mini-stands ( to ) make laptops more ergonomic on the go. They raise the monitor slightly by elevating the back edge of the computer. Tamara James, ergonomics director at Duke University, tells students who bring laptops to class that setting them on a two- or three-inch binder will have the same effect. Mr. Caffrey worries that mini-stands may be hard on wrists and hands and suggests reversing the angle to elevate the keyboard instead. Try alternating between the two positions if you're on the laptop a lot.-便携解决方案。电脑桌和迷你架(4-50美元)让笔记本电脑在使用中更加符合人体工学。它们抬高了电脑的后缘,进而略微升高了显示器。杜克大学人体工学主任塔马拉o詹姆斯(Tamara James)告诉那些把笔记本电脑带到课堂上的学生们说,把电脑放在一个两、三英寸高的活页夹上也会达到同样的效果。凯弗雷担心迷你架可能会使得腕和手紧张,他建议反过来把键盘抬高。如果你经常使用笔记本电脑,那么就试着轮换使用这两种姿势。'Don't just put your laptop on your desk -- that's probably the worst place for it,' says Ms. James, who says people are usually amenable to such suggestions once muscle strain sets in. 'Pain is a pretty good motivator,' she says.詹姆斯说,不要只是把笔记本电脑放在书桌上,书桌或许是放笔记本电脑最糟糕的地方。她说,人们一旦出现肌肉紧张的症状,就会非常愿意接受她的建议。她说,疼痛是种不错的动力。 /200902/62360。

Held at the height ofParis fashion week which kicks off on Tuesday, the event organised by Paris' Galeries Lafayette department store is bidding for a spot in the Guinness Book of Records.  这场秀将在下周二开幕的巴黎时装周期间举行,组织方巴黎“老佛爷”百货公司有意让其写入吉尼斯世界纪录。  Would-be models aged 16 and over were asked to post pictures of their look on the store's website, with 700 finalists chosen from among 3,600 people to take part in the flagship catwalk show on Thursday on Boulevard Haussmann in central Paris.  有意参演、并且年龄在16岁以上的人们可将自己的照片上传到该百货公司网站。届时,将从3600名应征者中挑选出700名模特于下周四在巴黎市中心奥斯曼大道举办的大型时装秀上亮相。 Smaller events, to be held Thursday in Berlin and Saturday in 54 sister stores across France, have drawn over 10,000 registrations. Put end-to-end the catwalks measure some two kilometres (1.2 miles).  下周四在柏林、以及下周六在法国54家“店”上演的小规模秀场已经吸引了超过1万人报名。所有T台首尾连接起来约有2千米(1.2英里)长。  Currently, the Guinness fashion show record is for 250 people to t the catwalk at the same time in 10 different locations.  目前的吉尼斯时装秀世界纪录为250人同时在10个不同的地方走秀。 /201010/116701。

41 因为沙滩印著我俩的足迹because there are our footprints in the sand beach42 因为只有你肯陪我看恐怖片because only you like to accompany me to watch horrible movies43 因为你曾为感人剧情而哭的淅沥哗啦的because you were ever moved to tears by the play44 因为我们侧夜长谈分享彼此because we talk all night and enjoy each other45 因为我们是天生一对because we were born of a couple46 因为爱过你就好because it is fine of experiencing love you47 因为只愿等你一个人because I only want to wait for you48 因为有你我看到美好的未来because you make me see the beautiful future49 因为有你我看到了其他人羡慕的眼光because of having you ,i see the envious sights of others50 因为你让我体验了爱情的伟大because i experience the great love with you51 因为你的善良because of your kind heart52 因为有我就有你because where there is me ,there is you53 因为你让我感到身为一个男人的骄傲because of you ,i am proud of being a man54 因为任何事与爱你抵触者无效because nothing will happen,if it is contradict with loving you55 因为除了我再也找不到另一个与你相配的男人because except me you can't find another perfect match56 因为我们俩曾互许终身because we ever promised to be life-long companions57 因为我们要做七世情人because we plan to be lovers of generations58 因为我要带你环游世界because i will show you around the world59 因为我要让每个地方都留下我俩的回忆because i want every place to have our two person's memory60 因为我要继续写爱你的理由because i will continue to write the reasons of loving you  /200812/59937。

英国的酒吧文化  Visitors to Britain may find the best place to sample local culture is in a traditional pub. But these friendly hostelries can be minefields of potential gaffes for the uninitiated.   访问英国的人会发现传统英国酒吧是最能领略当地文化的地方。但对于初来乍到的异国人来说,这些友善的酒吧却犹如潜藏着有惹事危险的"地雷区"。   An anthropologist and a team of researchers have unveiled some of the arcane rituals of British pubs--starting with the difficulty of getting a drink. Most pubs have no waiters--you have to go to the bar to buy drinks. A group of Italian youths waiting 45 minutes before they realized they would have to fetch their own. This may sound inconvenient, but there is a hidden purpose.   一位人类学家和一组研究人员揭示了某些鲜为人知的英国酒吧文化。人们首先遇到的困难是从买酒开始的。大多数英国酒吧都没有酒保,你得到吧台去买酒。一伙意大利年轻人等了三刻钟才明白他们得自己去买。这听上去似乎让人觉得不方便,可却有它深刻的内涵。   Pub culture is designed to promote sociability in a society known for its reserve. Standing at the bar for service allows you to chat with others waiting to be served. The bar counter is possibly the only site in the British Isles in which friendly conversation with strangers is considered entirely appropriate and rea1ly quite normal behaviour. "If you haven't been to a pub, you haven't been to Britain." This tip can be found in a booklet, Passport to the Pub: The Tourists' Guide to Pub Etiquette, a customers' code of conduct for those wanting to sample "a central part of British life and culture". The trouble is that if you do not follow the local rules, the experience may fall flat. For example, if you are in a big group, it is best if only one or two people go to buy the drinks. Nothing irritates the regular customers and bar staff more than a gang of strangers blocking all access to the bar while they chat and dither about what to order.   在因其冷漠而出名的英国社会里,酒吧文化的形成是为了促进社会交往。排队的时候可以和其他等待买酒的人交谈。在英伦诸岛上,和陌生人亲切地交谈被认为是完全适宜的正常行为的唯一场所可能就是吧台了?你如果没去过酒吧,那就等于没有到过英国。"这个忠告可在名为《酒吧护照:旅游者酒吧仪俗指南》的小册子中找到,它对那些想要领略"英国生活和文化核心部分"的人是一种行为准则。问题是如果你不入乡随俗的话,你将一无所获。譬如说,你们若是团体前往,那最好是一个或两个人前去买酒。酒吧常客和酒保最腻味的就是一大伙人一边聊着一边又优柔寡断不知喝什么酒好,把通往吧台的路给堵住。 /201003/100024。

Moral Issues 美式道德Do Americans have any morals? That's a good question. Many people insist that ideas about right and wrong are merely personal opinions. Some voices, though, are calling Americans back to traditional moral values. William J. Bennett, former U.S. Secretary of Education, edited The Book of Virtues in 1993 to do just that. Bennett suggests that great moral stories can build character. The success of Bennett's book shows that many Americans still believe in moral values. But what are they? 美国人还有道德吗?这是个好问题。许多人坚持对与错乃是个人的意见。但是,还是有些人在呼唤美国人回到传统的道德价值里去。威廉.班奈特,前任美国教育部长,正是为了此目的而在一九九三年编辑了「美德」这本书。班奈特认为伟大的道德故事可以建造性格。班奈持这本书的成功显示了许多美国人仍然相信道德的价值。但是它们到底为何? To begin with, moral values in America are like those in any culture. In fact, many aspects of morality are universal. But the stories and traditions that teach them are unique to each culture. Not only that, but culture influences how people show these virtues. 最开始,道德价值在美国就像在任何其它的文化一样。事实上,许多道德的观点是全球一致的。但是,不同的文化则有不同的故事和传统来教导它们。不仅如此,文化也影响了人民如何表现这些美德。 One of the most basic moral values for Americans is honesty. The well-known legend about George Washington and the cherry tree teaches this value clearly. Little George cut down his father's favorite cherry tree while trying out his new hatchet. When his father asked him about it, George said, "I cannot tell a lie. I did it with my hatchet." Instead of punishment, George received praise for telling the truth. Sometimes American honesty-being open and direct-can offend people. But Americans still believe that "honesty is the best policy." 美国人最基本的道德价值之一是诚实。众所周知的乔治.华盛顿砍樱桃树的故事,即将此道德教导地极为清楚。小乔治在试他新斧头时砍倒了爸爸最心爱的樱桃树。当爸爸问他的时候,乔治说,「我不能说谎,我用我的斧头砍了它。」乔治非但未被惩罚,反而因为诚实而被赞赏。有时候美国人仍然相信「诚实是最上策」。 Another virtue Americans respect is perseverance. Remember Aesop's fable about the turtle and the rabbit that had a race? The rabbit thought he could win easily, so he took a nap. But the turtle finally won because he did not give up. Another story tells of a little train that had to climb a steep hill. The hill was so steep that the little train had a hard time trying to get over it. But the train just kept pulling, all the while saying, "I think I can, I think I can." At last, the train was over the top of the hill. "I thought I could, I thought I could," chugged the happy little train. 另外一个为美国人所尊崇的美德为坚忍。记得再龟兔赛跑这则伊索寓言吗?兔子以为牠可以赢的很轻松,便睡了个午觉,但是乌龟再最后终因不放弃而赢了这场比赛。另一个故事谈到一个必须爬过陡峭山头的小火车,山头是这么陡,以至于小火车很难爬上去,但是它仍不断地爬,并不停地说:「我想我能做到,我能做到。」最后,火车终于爬过了山头,「我就知道我可以。」这个快乐的小火车继续往前去。 ompassion may be the queen of American virtues. The story of "The Good Samaritan" from the Bible describes a man who showed compassion. On his way to a certain city, a Samaritan man found a poor traveler lying on the road. The traveler had been beaten and robbed. The kind Samaritan, instead of just passing by, stopped to help this person in need. Compassion can even turn into a positive cycle. In fall 1992, people in Iowa sent truckloads of water to help Floridians hit by a hurricane. The next summer, during the Midwest flooding, Florida returned the favor. In less dramatic ways, millions of Americans are quietly passing along the kindnesses shown to them. 同情心,可能是美国的道德之最了。圣经中的「好撒玛利亚人」的故事,描述一个流露同情心的人。在这个撒玛利亚人出发去某城市的途中,看到一个可怜的旅客躺在路旁。这旅客被鞭打、抢劫,这位仁慈的撒玛利亚人非但没有视而不见,反而停下来帮助这位有需要的人。同情心还可以变成一个正面循环,在一九九二年的秋天,爱荷华州的居民将好几辆卡车的水送到受飓风侵袭的佛罗里达州;而就在第二年夏天,当中西部闹水灾的时候,佛州人便投挑报李。数以百万计的美国人民正用较不醒目的方式回报人们向他们表达的善意。 In no way can this brief description cover all the moral values honored by Americans. Courage, responsibility, loyalty, gratitude and many others could be discussed. In fact, Bennett's bestseller-over 800 pages-highlights just 10 virtues. Even Bennett admits that he has only scratched the surface. But no matter how long or short the list, moral values are invaluable. They are the foundation of American culture-and any culture. 在这么一篇短短的文章里,无论如何也不能将美国人所尊崇的道德述尽。勇气、责任心、忠诚、感激之心还有许多其它可以讨论的。事实上,班奈特最畅销的书──超过八百页──只谈到了十种美德。即使班奈特也承认他只谈到了皮毛而已。但是不论这张道德表是多长或短,道德价值都是无价的。他们是美国文化──和任何其它国家的文化之基础。 /200804/34321。

1. Eliminate Internal Negative ChatterThe first step is one of awareness. It will be hard to make a change to positive thinking without being acutely intimate with the thoughts that run through your mind. Recently, I was amazed to discover deep buried emotions from negative thoughts that I had for fewer than 10 minutes. Without awareness, I would have carried the hurt and anger inside. Awareness helped me to bring them out to the open for me to deal with.停止否定自己。首先要弄清楚问题的本质,找到问题的根源,并正视它,解决它。 /201002/96842。