2019年07月16日 23:22:15|来源:国际在线|编辑:问医对话
We speak of someone having "cold eyes" or a "warm smile". Now it seems there's a very real connection between the temperature people feel and the way they act toward others. Science magazine reports on an experiment in which some students held a hot drink and others a clod one. Then a person was described to them. Later, the students were asked whether they would describe that person as good or bad. Those holding the hot cups were more likely to say positive things. A second experiment using hot and cold therapeutic pads brought even clearer results. Students holding the hot pads were twice as likely as those with the cold ones to react to others in a positive way. /200904/67681You walk past them one day and they smile at you and suddenly you are walking the same way every day, just to see that smile again. They slowly approach moving closer to you and giving you a little more insight each day about who they are. They have an air of confidence but a shy demeanor. Finally they say hi and you practically drop to your knees with excitement.This is how a manipulator starts. They usually come into your lives slowly as they you and figure out your body language, likes and dislikes and even your wardrobe. I was told once that the wisest person in the room was the one who wasn't saying anything, they were listening to everything that was going on. I realized when I became that quiet person, it wasn't just the listening that they were doing. We study you and capture every moment until you become the target. We follow and know every move you make. Then we move in for the kill, get what we want and leave.So how do you know who we are? Here is a not-so-simple list of things that you can watch for. 1. Attitude Not so simple to see if you are aly hooked, but you can spot it in people. Most of the time you know when people are giving you attitude but that is not what I am talking about. I am talking about how they carry themselves and it isn't an attitude that makes you step back and decide to get defensive. They have perfected what they need to send off as their attitude to make you think you should approach them or allow them to approach you. If you look closely though there is a fine line between who they really are and who they have perfected for you. Trust your first instinct because your subconscious mind may be seeing more than you do. Keep your guard up and watch for theirs to fall occasionally. 2.Too Good To Be True Like everyone says, amp;;if it's too good to be true.amp;; They are right. If they have too much in common with you be very leery, they have probably studied enough to know about things you may like and can bullshit their way through it. We, I mean they, are really good at that. The perfect sales people. Some of them can you in a split second. 3.Saving the World If someone swoops in when they see you are down, they could be a good friend, or they may have just been waiting for the opportunity to sweep you off your feet and save the world. I have a lot of friends that swoop in when I need them, but I can always tell when someone is trying to take advantage of a situation. I guess it is intuition again and hard to explain. But they want to make your world perfect and be your savior. They will constantly be a shoulder to cry on and when the time is right they will pull you in. 4.Overly Reasonable When they seem perfect and want to be over reasonable about things, like you spending time with your friends, usually there is a hook later. Once you think that they are perfect and you are hooked, they will start cutting you off from the people who love you. It may be a slow process of one friend at a time or one place, like your favorite bar, at a time. Know who your real friends are before you start relying on a new person who says you shouldn't listen to them. Stay on your toes and be watchful of someone who slowly tells you that other people are taking advantage of you.I have a daughter that doesn't quit seem to get it when people tell her to pay attention to things. She doesn't seem to catch on when people try to tell her what other people might be doing to her. I have to sit down and give her a list and then point things out after they happen. That is not uncommon because she is still kind of young but I worry about what is going to happen when I am not there? Who is going to tell her that she is being manipulated? If I could just teach her to be on her toes and watch for these signs then maybe she will learn. Having a watchful eye and knowing what to look for helps, but some manipulators are very good and they know what you will be looking for. Also, some people who act like this may truly be good people and you don't want to let them go. How do you know which they are? You have to watch and trust your own judgment two things that are very hard to do when someone is flattering you and saving your world. 你和他们擦身而过,他们对你报以微笑,忽然之间你习惯了每天走那条路,只为了能再次见到那个微笑。慢慢地,他们走近了你,让你能够对他们有进一步的了解。他们对你打招呼让后你终于兴奋得拜倒在他们脚下。 这就是一个操纵者是如何开始的。他们经常会走进你的生活,读懂你,理解你的肢体语言、喜欢的、不喜欢的,甚至你的全部装。曾经有人告诉我一屋子人中,最聪明的那个是什么都不说的人,他们只是聆听、观察正在发生的一切。当我变成那个安静的人之后,我才知道他们并不仅仅是在听。我们分析你、了解你,捕捉你的每个瞬间直到你成为我们的目标。我们跟随你并且了解你所做的每一格动作,然后拿走我们想要的离开。 那你要怎样知道我们是谁呢?这里有一个并不简单的条目你可以参考。 1.态度 要想清楚你是否成为目标并不容易,但是你可以在人群中发现这个。许多时候当有人给你摆架子的时候你会发现,但是这个并不是我想谈的。我要谈的是他们怎样会有怎样的举止和态度,以至于不让你害怕并产生戒备心理。他们力求使自己的态度完美一边你会接近他们或者允许他们接近你。你是否还是看起来容易接近即使他们的举动和真实身份之间有明显的区别。相信自己的第一感觉,因为你的潜意识看到的比你了解得更多。竖起防备,小心不经意间陷入。 2.好得让人难以置信 想大家说得那样,太好就让人难以置信。他们是对的。是否他们和你有太多共同的地方,这样太狡猾了,他们大概已经深入地了解你所喜欢的事情,故而他们可以顺利地实现自己的计划,我们,也就是“他们”,是非常精通这些的。太过完美经常会出卖人,他们中的一些人在看到你的瞬间就能看懂你。 3.拯救世界 如果有人看到你倒了就冲过来,他们可以是一个好朋友,又或者他们他们只是在等候这个机会把你打倒,拯救世界。我与许多朋友,他们总是在我需要的时候出现,但是我经常会分辨出党有人是在利用这个条件。我想这就是直觉吧,难以解释。但是他们想让你的世界变得完美,成为你的救世主。在你想哭的时候,他们总是会给你一个肩膀,然后再合适的时候,把你拥入怀抱。 4.过度的合理 当他们看起来完美无缺并且想要让事情看起来无可挑剔,就像你和朋友相处一样,但是通常之后会有一个陷阱。一旦你发祥他们太过完美并且你上圈套时,他们就会把切断你和关心你的人的联系。It may be a slow process of one friend at a time or one place,像你最喜欢的酒吧,at a time.在你决定依靠一个陌生人who says you shouldn't listen to them的时候,先搞清楚谁是你真正的朋友。当有人告诉你别人是在利用你的时候,冷静下来并且认真观察他的言行。 我的女儿,她总是在别人告诉她留心一些事情的收获满不在乎。当别人试着告诉她有些人会对她做一些事情的时候,她看起来无法理解。我不得不静下来给她列一个清单,然后在事情发生之后给她指出来。这并不稀奇因为她毕竟还是个孩子。但是我担心如果我不在了会发生些什么?在她被控制的时候谁去告诉她?如果我告诉她冷静地观察这些讯息,也许她就会了解。一定要有一双洞悉的眼睛,知道向谁求助,但是有些非常专业的操作者他们知道你在寻找什么。而且,一些有这些做法的人,他们真的是好人,那你可不要让他走开。那你怎么知道他是好是坏呢?你就要认真地观察并且坚信自己的判断。但是当有人奉承你并且可以拯救你的时候,这就很难办到了。 /200809/47427I always find it interesting to see how others solve problems that seem so prevalent here in the states. Three simple ideas from Europe come to mind.Cart coins.Honestly, this is such a simple solution, I have no idea why it hasn’t caught on here in the States. When we were in Italy, more often than not the shopping carts were linked together with chains and interlocking tabs. To get one to use, we were required to insert a coin in a slot which we then pushed in / pulled back to release the lock and take our cart inside the store. When we were finished unloading our purchases in the car, we simply took the cart back, inserted the piece again (I may be getting the actual procedure wrong, but is was super simple, nonetheless), and got our coin back.It took no time at all to develop the habit of keeping a couple of coins in the dash, and for those that really couldn’t be bothered there were always teenagers or other financially strapped individuals around who would take the cart off your hands and re-park it for you in exchange for getting to keep the coin.What we didn’t have to deal with? Carts slamming into our vehicle from blowing winds, or taking up parking spaces after they rolled around the parking lot a time or two. Additional bonus? The cost of goods inside the stores was more under control because no staff members needed to be hired to chase down and organize runaway grocery carts.Bag tax / surcharge.It’s great that some stores want to give you a discount for every bag you bring in that they don’t have to provide. But the fact is, some people just won’t do it. Just like some people don’t bother to clip coupons. When we lived on the other side of the ocean, there was an extra charge for every bag you needed. Some stores were good enough to save left over stocking boxes, but not all.What was interesting to me at the time (it was several years ago, now) was how many more people I saw bringing in their own bags than I ever noticed back home. Not sure what the psychological difference was between saving a nickel and getting charged a nickel, but apparently it did the trick for some. Just an observation.Highly prevalent small space and vertical urban gardens.This blew me away. I couldn’t believe how many people were so talented with using every nook and cranny of their limited urban living space to grow food. Shrubs growing on the sides of an entry walk planted with rosemary, climbing vines of grapes rather than flowers, narrow strips along the sides of buildings planted with fruit trees pruned to grow flat against the wall and along wires strung for stability.Tiny back yard areas loaded with tomatoes, basil and aubergines . . . literally every small space and vertical opening in our little neighborhood in Northern Italy was brimming with edible plants. Of course, it didn’t hurt that there was a fairly long growing season, but still.How much could a single, apartment or town home dwelling family reduce their monthly grocery budget with these skills? Bonus? Lots of trees and plants growing up alley walls means less room for graffiti.I don’t mean to reduce all the wonderful things I experienced there to such a sort post. It’s just that these things struck me recently as things we could easily do something about in America. On a selfish note, I vote we start with tackling the runaway grocery carts.Have a great day, everybody! 我总觉得看外国人如何解决我们美国普遍存在的一些问题很有趣。突然想到在欧洲看到的三个简单的例子。投币手推车老实说,解决这个问题真的很容易,可我不知道为什么这没有在美国推行开呢。在意大利,那些购物手推车通常被链子和卡式锁连在一起的。当我们要用手推车时,我们只需要投一枚硬币到卡式锁的狭槽里面,然后一推一拉把锁打开了,就可以把手推车推到商场里面了。当我们把买的东西放到自己车里面后,就可以很轻松的把手推车推回去了。把硬币一插(也许这步骤我说的不对,但是这超级简单),然后硬币就退还回来了。养成留两枚硬币的习惯并不要花多少时间,但对那些怕麻烦的人来说也不成什么问题。因为总有一些青少年或者一些手头紧的人愿意帮你把手推车退回去,以赚取那两枚硬币的小费。这省了那些事呢?刮大风的时候,那些手推车会撞上我们的车,他们被推到停车场里有时会占用太多的车位。还有其他的好处吗:商店的内部成本降低了,因为他们不需要雇佣人来寻找和管理那些被推得到处都是的购物车。购物袋征税/附加费如果你自带塑料袋的话,有些商场会因不用提供塑料袋而给你打折,这样做很好。但事实上,有些人就是不愿带塑料袋。就像有些人懒得去拿优惠券一样。而如果我们生活在大西洋对岸,我们得为用的每一个塑料袋付额外的费用。有些商场作的很好,会把回收丢弃的塑料袋,但不是所有的商场都会这么做。当时(这是几年前的事了),我觉得很有趣的是,我发现,在那边自带塑料袋的人比我们多多了。我不太清楚省一个硬币和花一个硬币心理上的差别,但是,很显然,他们这么做很成功--这只是我所观察到的。小面积的垂直城市菜园很流行这让我很震撼。我简直无法相信有这么多如此天才的人们在他们城市中有限的生活空间里,利用每一个隐避处和小缝隙来种植。在入口出种植着各种各样的灌木,迷迭香,那些藤蔓上的葡萄--而不是花,街道旁狭窄的过道上靠墙种着修剪整齐的果树。小块的后院种满了番茄、罗勒和茄子。在意大利北部,我们邻居们在每一小块空间和垂直的空隙里都种满了可食用的植物。当然,它们的生长周期也很长。一个单人间,一套公寓或者一个家庭每个月可以通过这个手艺在食品预算上省多少钱呢?可以带来多少利润呢?大量的树木和攀附在墙上的植物就意味着没有多少空间留给墙上涂鸦。我的意思并不是我在那里所经历的美好的东西仅仅就只有这篇小文所说的这么多。只是这些事情最近震撼了我,而这些我们在美国很容易效仿的。出于个人私心,我建议我们从解决散落四处的购物车的问题做起。祝大家好运! /200808/46214

John was waiting for the girl whose heart he knew, but whose face he didn’t, the girl with the rose. Thirteen months ago, in a Florida library he took a book off the shelf and found himself intrigued with the notes in the margin. The soft handwriting reflected a thoughtful soul and insightful mind.In front of the book, he discovered the previous owner’s name, Miss Hollis Maynell. With time and effort he located her address. He wrote her a letter introducing himself and inviting her to correspond.During the next year and one-month the two grew to know each other through the mail. A Romance was budding. John requested a photograph, but she refused. She felt that if he really cared, it wouldn't matter what she looked like. Later they scheduled their first meeting-7:00 pm at Grand Central Station in New York."You'll recognize me, " she wrote, "by the red rose I'll be wearing on my lapel." So at 7:00 he was in the station looking for the girl with the red rose.A young woman in a green suit was coming toward him, her figure long and slim and her eyes were blue as flowers. Almost uncontrollably he made one step closer to her, and just at this moment he saw Hollis Maynell-a woman well past 40. The girl was walking quickly away. He felt as though he split in two, so keen was his desire to follow her, and yet so deep was his longing for the woman whose spirit had truly companioned him and upheld his own.He did not hesitate. He squared his shoulders and said, "I’m John, and you must be Miss Maynell. I am so glad you could meet me; may I take you to dinner?"The woman smiled, "I don’t know what this is about, son," she answered, "but the young lady in the green suit begged me to wear this rose on my coat. And she said if you were to ask me out to dinner, I should tell you that she is waiting for you in the restaurant across the street. She said it was some kind of test!"It’s not difficult to admire Miss Maynell’s wisdom. The true nature of a heart is seen in it's response to the unattractive. /200902/62545

随着中国走向国际化,东西方之间的交流、交际会越来越普遍,了解西方文化礼仪,了解那些国家人民的生活方式及日常行为并掌握和得体的应用它们,是非常重用的。中国的礼节与西方的礼节有时相差很大。例如,在迎接远方来客时,我们常以”你一路上辛苦啦!”表示慰问,可是,如果用”I'm afraid you must have a tiring journey,”这一语法上正确的英语,来迎接英语国家的客人,他们听起来回觉得很不自然,因为这种场合下他们使用的寒暄语往往是”Did you have a good trip? 或”Did you enjoy your trip?”等这样令人愉快的语句。有些问候在中国是合乎礼节的,而在西方是不被采用的。在西方工业国家,人们大部分住在城市,彼此不相识,甚至在乡村之间很陌生,再加上英美等国家强调个人价值(Individualism)至高无上,所以寒暄时不喜欢被问及年龄及婚姻状况,更不喜欢被问及收入情况。问候方式常常是中性、抽象的打招呼(Goodmorning/afternoon/day),或者是谈论有关天气或一些热门赛事之类。如果比了解文化差异就会造成以上语言选择上的失误,就会出现把中文礼貌礼貌用语套用到英文中的现象,出现中文式的英语。因此,和西方人交谈时你最好使用西方通常的问候礼仪方式。 一、西方文化礼仪之“称谓礼仪”西方人姓名排列正好跟我们相反,前面是名,后面是姓氏。在国际交往中,一般对男士称“Mr.”,对女士则视其结婚与否进行称呼,未婚的称“Miss”,已婚的则应称“Mrs”。对那些在社会上较有地位的人,如法官(Judge)、教授(Professor)、医生(Doctor)、政府高级官员如参议员(Senator)、军官如将军(General)、上尉(Capital)和宗教人士如主教(Bishop)等,可将其姓名连同职业一起称呼,如“DoctorJack”,“ProfessorWhite”,也可只称呼其职业名称,如“Mr.Judge”,“Mr.Lawyer”。相比之下,美国人在人与人之间的交往上就比较随便。通常只招呼一声,哪怕是第一次见面也不一定握手,还可直呼对方的名字表示亲热。但在正式场合,人们就要讲究礼仪了。握手是最普通的见面礼。值得注意的是,美国人从来不用行政职务,如:局长、经理、校长等头衔称呼别人。 二、西方文化礼仪之“介绍礼仪”在国际交往场合,如想结识朋友,一般应有第三者介绍。如当时不具备这种条件而你又确实想结交某人,你可走到他面前作自我介绍,但介绍完后不可先伸手,也不可问对方达的名字。对方若不作自我介绍,你可道声谢离开,这在西方并不算失礼。用句型“Thisis╳╳╳andthisis╳╳╳”介绍两人认识时,要先把男士给女士,先把年轻的介绍给年老的,先把职位低的介绍给职位高的。同性之间,介绍完毕后应先伸手相握,可以说“很高兴认识你”(Nice to meet you!)。没必要说“久仰”或“希望以后常联系”之类的话。有些国家会将常联系理解为有事要相求与他。 三、西方文化礼仪之“交谈礼仪”与人交谈,莫问私事。在西方,人们的确一切行为以个人为中心,个人利益是神圣不可侵犯的。人们日常交谈不涉及个人私事。有些问题是他们忌谈的,如询问年龄,婚姻状况,收入多少,宗教信仰,竞选中投谁的票等都是非常冒昧和失礼的。看到别人买来的东西从不问价钱。见到别人外出或回来,也不问“你从哪里来?”或“去哪儿啊?”在我国,老年人受到尊敬,但在美国却是“人老珠黄不值钱”。因此在美国,老年人不喜欢别人恭维他们的年龄。美国人还十分讲究“个人空间”。两人谈话时,不可太近。一般以50公分以外为宜。不得已和别人同坐一桌或紧挨别人坐时,最好打个招呼,问一声“我可以坐在这儿吗?(May I sit here?)”,得到别人允许后再坐下。礼貌用语多多益善。美国人讲话嘴很甜,他们对好听的话从不吝啬,长令听者心舒意畅。的确,在美国“Please”、“Thankyou”、“I'msorry”、“Exeuseme”之类的话随处可闻。 /200908/81935

Blog offers potted history of life as a plantIt has long been accepted that talking to plants can help them flourish, but have you ever wondered what they'd say in response?Well a plant in Japan has its own blog that may help you understand."Midori-san," a 40 cm (16 inches)potted plant on a cafe counter in Kamakura, near Tokyo, blogs every day with the help of a sensor that measures electric signals and a computer algorithm that translates them into Japanese.The plant, a hoya kerrii, is commonly called a "sweetheart plant" because of its leaf shape."We were initially interested in what plants are feeling and what they are reacting to where we can't see," said Satoshi Kuribayashi, a researcher involved in the project at Japan's Keio University.The strength of electronic signals on the surface of Midori-san's heart-shaped green leaves, which react to light and human touch, are measured by a sensor attached to the plant, and this data is sent to a computer in the cafe.The computer uses an algorithm to translate the signal data, as well as other factors -- including weather and temperature -- to translate them into words, which are automatically posted on Midori-san's blog (http://plant.bowls-cafe.jp/index.php)"Today was a sunny day and I was able to sunbathe a lot... I had quite a bit of fun today," Midori-san, whose name means "green" in Japanese, posted on Oct 16.The latest entry s: "It was cloudy today. It was a cold day."Kuribayashi said he hopes that in the future, the blog will reflect even more accurately of Midori-san's feelings.Blogging with computers and mobile phones is popular in Japan, which had the greatest number of blog posts by language at 37 percent, followed by English and Chinese posts, a study from blog search engine Technocrati in 2007 showed. 大家都知道,与植物说话有助于促进它们的生长,但你有没有想过它们会怎样回应?现在,日本一颗植物的“客”或许能为你解开这个疑问。日本一颗名叫“绿(Midori-san)”的盆栽植物每天在一个传感器和电脑的帮助下“写”客,传感器的作用是测量电子信号,而电脑则通过一个运算程序将这些信号翻译成文字。这株盆栽植物生长在东京附近镰仓市一家咖啡厅的柜台上,高40厘米(16英寸)。这颗植物是一株心形球兰,因其叶子呈心形,常被称为“开心草”。日本庆应义塾大学参与该项目的研究员栗林说:“最初我们是想了解植物的‘情绪变化’,以及在人不知晓的情况下,会做出怎样的回应。”“绿”的心形绿叶被光照射和人触摸后会产生回应,而它所携带的传感器则能够测量其叶子表面的电子信号的强弱,然后再将这些数据传输到咖啡馆的一台电脑上。电脑通过一个运算程序将这些信号数据以及天气和温度等其它信息转化成文字,然后将其贴在:“绿”的客(http://plant.bowls-cafe.jp/index.php)上。“绿”在本月16日的客中写道:“今天阳光明媚,美美地享受了日光浴,真开心哪。”最近的一篇客写道:“今天多云,有点冷。”栗林士说,他希望今后这个客能更准确地反映“绿”的“心情”。日本人很喜欢用电脑和手机写客,根据Techocrati客搜索引擎去年的一项统计数据,日语客占全球客总数的37%,居世界首位,其次是英语客和中文客。 Vocabulary: potted plant:盆栽植物 /200810/53817

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